Dive smarter. Laugh harder. 🤿
At PODI, we teach you how to breathe underwater and keep your cool when your buddy forgets their fins again. We take safety seriously and ourselves not at all.
Disclaimer: No plastic cards, just priceless memories.
Our Mission (subject to tides)
To make the ocean a friendlier, funnier place—one slightly crooked mask strap at a time. We aim for safer dives, better trim, and fewer existential crises over SPG readings.
About PODI
Note: This site is for fun and demos. It is not a real certification agency and does not issue cards.
Where we started
Born in 2025 by friends with fins. We love clear water, tidy gear, and students who ask great questions.
How we teach
Brief. Demo. Practice. Feedback. Repeat. We explain why a skill matters and when you’ll use it. Then we do it again, calmly.
Instructor network
Our instructors are patient, safety‑minded, and friendly. Jokes at the surface. Focus underwater.
Courses
Earn confidence, not credentials.
Open Water‑ish Diver 🤿
Learn to float, fin, and smile through a leaky mask. Remember: air is for sharing.
Perfectly Average Buoyancy
Become neutrally buoyant enough to impress yourself. Bonus: stop scaring fish with your knees.
Advanced Adventurish Diver
Go deeper 👎, get lost on purpose, then find your way back heroically 👍. Probably.
Nitrox for People Who Like Numbers
Oxygen math for overachievers. Learn to say “partial pressure” confidently at parties.
Extended Beer Diver
Authorized for heavy lifting, long walks, and drinking beer. Intake allegedly improves performance. Drinks faster than he swims. Can do extended beer dives. Motto: “Runs on beer, carries everything else.”
Divemaster of Ceremonies
Lead dives, give pep talks, find lost fins, and look calm while panicking internally.
Membership
Become part of the world’s most unserious serious dive organization 👌.
Bubble Buddy
Our entry tier. Includes moral support and the occasional “you got this!” email.
Reef Guardian
Help us protect the ocean by not dropping your weight belt on it. Comes with stickers and smugness.
Procrastinator Pro
For instructors who meant to renew their membership elsewhere. Get a digital card and plausible deniability.
Membership Fees (bring your wallet)
Promo: Your first year is totally FREE.* After that it is only 499 € per year (plus unlimited imaginary surcharges we never actually apply).
Why free first year?
We believe in commitment through mild confusion. Year one: laughter. Year two: “I guess I live here now.”
What do I get?
Access to site updates, SVG fish, moral support, and the right to brag about a membership that isn’t real.
Is 499 € serious?
As serious as a sea cucumber doing taxes. It funds more jokes, whimsical pixels, and zero executive yachts.
Refund policy?
If dissatisfied, we send you extra encouragement and a digital cookie. Still unhappy? We keep cheering anyway.
* Free year applies to everyone, always, forever. We never remember to turn the promo off.
Frequently Splash‑Asked Questions
Are you real?
As real as your last 3‑meter safety stop. Emotionally, yes. Legally, no.
Can I teach for PODI?
If you can keep a straight face underwater and remember your buddy’s name, probably.
Do you issue certification cards?
Only digital high‑fives. They’re eco‑friendly and never expire.
What if I lose my card?
You never had one. Problem solved!
Will I see sharks?
Yes, in your dreams or the gift shop. Stay calm and maintain trim.
Get in touch
Questions?
Surface near a buoy at sunrise, blow three calm bubble rings, then hum the Jaws theme softly. A seahorse courier will appear (eventually). Underwater contact only—land emails get lost in kelp.
Become a PODI Center
Bring thoughtful training to your community. We share brand assets, guides, and onboarding. No confetti — glitter and reefs don’t mix.
Media & Partnerships
We work with ocean‑friendly brands, researchers, and educators. Tell us your idea. Bonus points for great buoyancy in your pitch.